3D Dot Game Heroes — Retro Love Letter

It really is impossible to not talk about this game with a sly smile on our faces. 3D Dot Game Heroes is the ultimate homage to the NES-era games; in fact we would describe it as the porn for the 30 year old — those of us who grew up playing the first Zelda and Dragon Quest. We once saw people on message boards commenting on this game as a blatant rip-off of Zelda; they are missing the point — if you are not already in on the joke, you are never going to get it. Like Half-Minute hero which we reviewed last year, 3D Dot pokes fun of itself the entire journey, and if you weren’t born at least 2 whole decades ago and grew up with the classics, you are not going to get it. On the surface, 3D Dot is a total Zelda clone, like how Darksiders ripped off Ocarina of Time, 3D dot’s gameplay is lifted entirely from the first Legend of Zelda. But the difference between Homage and Plagiarism lies in the fine line of how to tell an appropriate joke and who you are telling it to; when we played Darksiders and Dante’s Inferno, you would feel that something’s amiss, or totally gone awry. Those games seem to be doing a disservice to the original material they are copying from. But not so here in 3D Dot’s case, it’s sole existence is to remind you of your childhood, and enhances that experience while it turns it into a big joke.

You play as the hero obviously, and just for kicks we took the skin of Link made by the GameSpy folks and put it into the game just so that the game even feel more Zelda than it already is. You are trying to save the princess in this land of Dotnia, which just turned 3D. Now the graphics of 3D dot is at least 50% of the charm because it is made by pixel Lego blocks from the 8 bit era. And if you aren’t playing this game with a smile just by looking at the graphics, you should probably burn your PS3 (your house along with it) right now. Every moment spent in Dotnia is the nostalgic key to unlocking fond childhood memories — from the loading screen, the music, the sound effects of going in and out of game locations, casting spells — reminisce of Dragon Quest. Even in-game NPCs, like for example meeting a slime who wants to be a human — you might vaguely remember that from the first Dragon Quest (or was it the third?). Multiple references are also made to recent From software games — like Armored Core and Demon’s Souls — those moments also precious and fills with humor. And of course every other gaming moment IS Legend of Zelda; if you don’t like Legend of Zelda, you are going to hate 3D Dot Game Heroes.

If we have something to complain about, is that the game is too easy, since the hero’s  sword can fill up the screen when the protagonist is at full health, a feat more easy to maintain than not. Bosses are easy to perfect, and perfecting them is easier than not, for your gargantuan sword will hunt and hurt them from the other edge of the screen. Sub-weapons and magic are really downplayed, the bombs and arrows and boomerang are used to only solve puzzles while useless against normal enemies; and bosses aren’t a puzzle themselves like the recent Zelda series, it would be nice to require to bomb their thick armor off, shoot arrows at their only vulnerable spot — but NAY, your trusty ultimate all-purpose-demon-bullying sword is the only thing you’ll need to decimate your enemies.  Magic almost isn’t required to fight any bosses except the last one — and it would have been nice to make you at least twist your brain a little in order to survive. But dungeons and their puzzles are excellently paced and designed, just as good as they were coming from any Zelda game. For gamers who want to challenge themselves, there is a game mode where you can die from 1 hit. And booking monster to complete the encyclopedia is also a daunting task (it involves hitting a monster with a giant book repeatedly until the game is satisfied) — especially bosses that require 50 hits or above; it is surprising that a boss that took 2 minutes to defeat with perfect health proved to be impossible to book.

3D Dot Game Heroes makes us ponder where the current game industry has sunk to — Game design has been thrown away making room for  impressive budget and cut-scenes and lengthy dialogues that don’t tell a great story (ahem… FF13).  We love stories more than anyone else, but that doesn’t mean we want cookie-cutter RPGS staring spiky hair adolescents — we want truly great game designs and fun that recent games like Demon’s Souls, Half-Minute Hero, and 3D Dot Game Heroes have provided, while every moment of them reeked sheer brilliance. If you grew up in the 8-bit generation, you won’t be able to resist the charm, and you will remember this game for decades to come — and you will likely be telling  your grand kids stories of giant swords, princesses, and 3D dot pixels some day.

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